...CROA
CROA is what the rest of the planet would call a Home Owners Association or HOA.
CROA is what the rest of the planet would call a Home Owners Association or HOA.
But here in Celebration, everything has to be just
a little different, and so, we have CROA, which is the acronym for CRAZY RESIDENT OVERLORD ASSOCIATION or, for short, Crazy Ass (that is how you abbreviate association... isn't it?) As in "I got a letter from the Crazy Ass today", or "Can you believe those Crazy Ass rules?" Some people prefer to call it the Celebration Residential Owners Association. But that's only the the ones who work there.
Now I have dealt with Home Owners Associations before. My last neighborhood was governed by a HOA. The covenants for that HOA stated rules like "Only two horses per acre". That one was easy as we had zero horses per acre. "Poultry may be kept for 4H engagement only and no farming of them." I might have bent that one a bit, since we had chickens but didn't have kids in 4H. I felt that that was okay since we didn't eat the chickens. Not like the guy down at the end of our road. He not only had chickens but he had several emu too, and I'm sure he ate them. And I know he had kids, but I'm pretty sure they weren't in 4H. Actually, I'm pretty sure those kids couldn't even spell 4H.
Now I have dealt with Home Owners Associations before. My last neighborhood was governed by a HOA. The covenants for that HOA stated rules like "Only two horses per acre". That one was easy as we had zero horses per acre. "Poultry may be kept for 4H engagement only and no farming of them." I might have bent that one a bit, since we had chickens but didn't have kids in 4H. I felt that that was okay since we didn't eat the chickens. Not like the guy down at the end of our road. He not only had chickens but he had several emu too, and I'm sure he ate them. And I know he had kids, but I'm pretty sure they weren't in 4H. Actually, I'm pretty sure those kids couldn't even spell 4H.
I never ran a fowl of that HOA. (insert laugh track here)
But I swear this Crazy Ass is making me... well, crazy.
We had heard about the Crazy Ass, long before we moved into Celebration (again, going back to the Celebration Myth and Lore), but didn't take it too seriously. Once we got here though, it was CROA this and CROA that. I knew they were a very tight Ass, but I didn't know how tight until the day of our closing when our attorney handed over several large bundles of bound paper. When stacked one on top of the other, they stood about two and a half feet tall. The attorney then informed my wife and I that these were the covenants of Celebration. He was a pretty nice guy and we thought he was making a joke. He wasn't. We hauled them into our trunk where they sat for about 6 months. From there they migrated to the garage where they have been collecting cobwebs ever since. Maybe we should have read them... who knew?
Now when we first moved to Celebration, our intent was to rent a town home for one year and then buy. Our mistake was in looking at homes while we were renting. Once you start looking, it's hard to turn back. But, since we were technically only 'looking', we weren't interested in contacting a realtor. Now I'm not saying anything bad about realtors. There are plenty of them in Celebration, so many in fact you can't swing a dead cat in this town without smacking a realtor in the head.
Each weekend, Celebration hosts dozens upon dozens of open houses. Well, I can't say that it was because we had nothing better to do (we are Annual Park Pass Holders at Disney which means we always have something better to do), but let's just say that one fine weekend we had nothing better to do so we went to check out some open houses.
Back when we were in Colorado internet house hunting for a home in Celebration I fell in love with one particular house. And if you remember my saying "Be careful what you say cause God is listening..." Well on one of my scouting trips out here, I came specifically to look at this one house and Susan was waiting by the phone for a report. "Well...what do you think?" "I don't think so, it doesn't look as good as it does on the internet. Now if the one next door were available, I'd take that in an instant, but I don't think it's in our price range."
Low and behold, guess what was on the open house list, and was in our price range. We we walked in it was kind of like love at first sight. The inside was even better than we could have hoped, it was for sale by owner, and he was totally willing to work with us. We both gave a little on the price and then before you knew it, we were packing (again). We were the proud new owners of our own little piece of Disney's backyard. And about two hundred pounds of covenants.
There are lots of things you don't see in Celebration. One of them would be the big metal "For Sale" signs in front yards. All the signs are the same discreet, small, white oval, stating "Home Available." This gives the town a uniform look.
But I swear this Crazy Ass is making me... well, crazy.
We had heard about the Crazy Ass, long before we moved into Celebration (again, going back to the Celebration Myth and Lore), but didn't take it too seriously. Once we got here though, it was CROA this and CROA that. I knew they were a very tight Ass, but I didn't know how tight until the day of our closing when our attorney handed over several large bundles of bound paper. When stacked one on top of the other, they stood about two and a half feet tall. The attorney then informed my wife and I that these were the covenants of Celebration. He was a pretty nice guy and we thought he was making a joke. He wasn't. We hauled them into our trunk where they sat for about 6 months. From there they migrated to the garage where they have been collecting cobwebs ever since. Maybe we should have read them... who knew?
Now when we first moved to Celebration, our intent was to rent a town home for one year and then buy. Our mistake was in looking at homes while we were renting. Once you start looking, it's hard to turn back. But, since we were technically only 'looking', we weren't interested in contacting a realtor. Now I'm not saying anything bad about realtors. There are plenty of them in Celebration, so many in fact you can't swing a dead cat in this town without smacking a realtor in the head.
Each weekend, Celebration hosts dozens upon dozens of open houses. Well, I can't say that it was because we had nothing better to do (we are Annual Park Pass Holders at Disney which means we always have something better to do), but let's just say that one fine weekend we had nothing better to do so we went to check out some open houses.
Back when we were in Colorado internet house hunting for a home in Celebration I fell in love with one particular house. And if you remember my saying "Be careful what you say cause God is listening..." Well on one of my scouting trips out here, I came specifically to look at this one house and Susan was waiting by the phone for a report. "Well...what do you think?" "I don't think so, it doesn't look as good as it does on the internet. Now if the one next door were available, I'd take that in an instant, but I don't think it's in our price range."
Low and behold, guess what was on the open house list, and was in our price range. We we walked in it was kind of like love at first sight. The inside was even better than we could have hoped, it was for sale by owner, and he was totally willing to work with us. We both gave a little on the price and then before you knew it, we were packing (again). We were the proud new owners of our own little piece of Disney's backyard. And about two hundred pounds of covenants.
There are lots of things you don't see in Celebration. One of them would be the big metal "For Sale" signs in front yards. All the signs are the same discreet, small, white oval, stating "Home Available." This gives the town a uniform look.
You also don't see Christmas lights left up all year round. Thanks CROA.
No more than two cars parked in front of your house. Good Stuff.
No tropical plantings in front of the property. Uhm, ookay. I guess.
CROA says "Use the Celebration Pattern Book to guide decisions regarding modifications. Some Pattern Book restrictions are specific to particular villages"
- Every home in Lake Evalyn is required to have a picket fence.
Some are specific to lot types .
- Village homes must have a canopy tree in addition to street trees.
Some are specific to individual architectural styles.
- Victorian homes do not have shutters.
Some are specific to individual streets.
- All homes on Downey Place must be painted Colonial Beige.
Some apply to all Celebration.
- All street facing window treatments must be white.
So when I put a nice small pond in my side yard, that my neighbors loved I shouldn't have been surprised when I got the letter, "No water features". Thanks Crazy Ass.
How about the time that I put pink shutters on my house? Okay I deserved that letter. Thanks CROA. So the shutters get painted white to match the house? Still no go! Uh, hello about 75% of the houses in Celebration have shutters. According to The Crazy ASS, "Shutters don't belong on a Victorian style home". Okay, off with the shutters, fill in the pond, plant the grass...
How about a nice fountain, that will look pretty? Again, with the letter "you can keep the fountain, but move it to your back yard." Now were annoyed! Susan fires off a letter pointing out that there are about ten homes within sight of our home with fountains in the front yard. "Yes" comes the reply "But, not like your home", which is true and Sue points that out in her letter back to them. "So, if our home was worth $4,000,000 we could have a fountain in the front yard?"
The Crazy Ass response was "Duh, and the pink shutters too!"
I guess from now on I'll be a good Celebration Borg, and try to assimilate.
Resistance is futile!
See you real soon!
The Crazy Ass response was "Duh, and the pink shutters too!"
I guess from now on I'll be a good Celebration Borg, and try to assimilate.
Resistance is futile!
See you real soon!
